By: P. Moffett
September 5 1698- Russia's Peter the Great decides to tax bearded men. He actually had the balls to tax facial hair, and if you decided to keep the beard you had to wear a medal that stated "beards are a ridiculous ornament." There are just no words to describe such awesome oppressiveness as this. He had a fricken tax for everything, chimneys, boots, beehives,... how in the hell do you tax a beehive? Peter enacted sweeping reforms and built a massive military turning Russia into a world power. On January 11 1722 he enacted the 'Soul Tax' which basically was a tax for being alive, and though he was not religious himself, he forced those who claimed not to believe in the soul to pay a "religious dissenters tax." I love this guy.
September 13 1899- 68 year old real estate broker Henry Bliss is struck by Arthur Smith while crossing Central Park West in New York City causing the first recorded automobile fatality. When the nurse at the hospital asked Bliss why he did not look both ways for cars when crossing the street he responded 'what the fuck is a car?' And then he died.
September 18 1970- Jimi Hendrix dies in London at the age of 27. Bummer
September 19 1995- The Washington Post publishes Ted Kaczynski a.k.a the UNAbombers 35,000 word Manifesto. The Unabomber had been wanted for mail bombings since 1978 but the FBI was unable to gain any ground until the publication of the Manifesto which told of the bleak state of society caused by the industrial revolution. This may be because the FBI's only evidence until then was a sketch that looked like Magnum P.I. crossed with a serial rapist. In reality Kaczynski had none of Tom Selleck’s sleek chiseled features and just looked like your everyday, run of the mill, old creepy serial rapist, and was caught only because David Kaczynski recognized the writing style of the Manifesto as that of his brother. He was arrested in a small cabin in Montana which is now on exhibit at the News Museum in Washington D.C.
September 8 1998- Mark McGwire hits his 62 home run of the season and breaks the 37 year old mark set by Roger Maris. McGwire trots around the bases and then climbs to the stands and to share the moment with Maris family. Unfortunately when he hugs Maris's widow her head pops off like a champagne cork and lands in the upper deck of Busch Stadium. He then eats Maris's children and showers the cheering fans in some steroid enhanced urine.
Movie of the Month- Millers Crossing...The Coen Brothers at their best
Food of the Month- Its about to be Crocktober suckas, slow cook something and gain some weight for the cold months.
REGISTER TO VOTE.!!!
Showing posts with label History. Show all posts
Showing posts with label History. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Saturday, August 23, 2008
This Month In History August 2008
By: Pat Moffett
August 24 79 A.D.
Mount Vesuvius erupts and buries Pompeii and Herculaneum. Everybody died because they were cold chillin and not even tryin to worry bout no pyroclastic flows of hot ass liquid and gaseous rock. Today Mount Vesuvius is still active, and there are roughly 3 million people living in its blast vicinity proving once again that we, as a species, are all morons.
August 15 1911
Proctor and Gamble Company introduced Crisco vegetable shortening. This lead to extreme obesity, which lead to the extreme consumption of Crisco saturated products, which lead to even more extreme obesity. Fortunately there is a plan to slowly eliminate this symbiotic force. Every weekend remove all the food from Wal-Mart, have a blowout sale and then lock all the doors. Those stuck inside will eat each other until only one person is left, and he or she will not be able to fit out the door and will starve to death. Shop Smart, Shop S-Mart, YA GOT THAT!!!!
August 8 1876/August 31 1887
Thomas Edison patented the mimeograph machine/ Thomas Edison invented the Kinetiscope giving birth to motion pictures. If anyone ever asks you who invented something just say Thomas Edison and two thirds of the time you will be correct. This is no joke, Thomas Edison invented two thirds of everything that has ever been created. That makes him a full third cooler than God and almost as cool as the Old Guy Joe Cabot in Reservoir Dogs.
August 16 1948/1977
Major League Baseball legend Babe Ruth dies at the age of 53 of a rare case of having a hot dog lodged in the left atrium of his heart. 29 years later to the Day Elvis Presley dies at the age of 42 of an even rarer case of sour cream in the lungs.
August 29 1957
Strom Thurmond ends the longest filibuster in US Senate history after speaking for over 24 hours against a civil rights bill. The bill passed and Strom Thurmond died six years later at the age of 112. Despite his death he continued to serve South Carolina in the senate and held a part time job as the Crypt Keeper for two movies and the length of the HBO television series "Tales From The Crypt". Strom Thurmond is currently dead but he may be back as early as January of 2009 to oppose the election of a Black President of the United States.
August 10, 1977
Postal employee David Berkowitz aka Son of Sam was arrested for shooting a bunch of people because he was told by his neighbors demonically possessed Labrador retriever that some folks needed to to die. The insanity defense is awesome and should be used at all times when people need to die. Just kill them and figure the rest out later.
Movie of Month: Army of Darkness.....You say you wanna kill me... now you wanna kiss me...Blow
You tube: Bubb Rub
Music: The Kinks
Internet Rip off: www.thepowerofcash.com
disclaimer: “If you choose to become an active member of The Overnight Cash System (TOCS), please bear in mind that TOCS is NOT a “Do Nothing” program, a "get rich quick scheme" or any type of investment whatsoever. It is a "gifts based upon advertising & marketing" program. You should therefore have a working/marketing budget available to you, with which to initially start marketing your TOCS website.
There are no guarantees of any kind that you will receive any money – and the success of other TOCS members is no guarantee that you will be successful. Your own personal results may vary, and you could receive more (or less) than the figures specified in the featured TOCS member testimonies within this website. Any hypothetical incoming cash examples within this website are for illustration purposes only, and are not intended to imply or promise any monetary results. Success in any program is a result of consistent effort, time and a variety of other factors.”
August 24 79 A.D.
Mount Vesuvius erupts and buries Pompeii and Herculaneum. Everybody died because they were cold chillin and not even tryin to worry bout no pyroclastic flows of hot ass liquid and gaseous rock. Today Mount Vesuvius is still active, and there are roughly 3 million people living in its blast vicinity proving once again that we, as a species, are all morons.
August 15 1911
Proctor and Gamble Company introduced Crisco vegetable shortening. This lead to extreme obesity, which lead to the extreme consumption of Crisco saturated products, which lead to even more extreme obesity. Fortunately there is a plan to slowly eliminate this symbiotic force. Every weekend remove all the food from Wal-Mart, have a blowout sale and then lock all the doors. Those stuck inside will eat each other until only one person is left, and he or she will not be able to fit out the door and will starve to death. Shop Smart, Shop S-Mart, YA GOT THAT!!!!
August 8 1876/August 31 1887
Thomas Edison patented the mimeograph machine/ Thomas Edison invented the Kinetiscope giving birth to motion pictures. If anyone ever asks you who invented something just say Thomas Edison and two thirds of the time you will be correct. This is no joke, Thomas Edison invented two thirds of everything that has ever been created. That makes him a full third cooler than God and almost as cool as the Old Guy Joe Cabot in Reservoir Dogs.
August 16 1948/1977
Major League Baseball legend Babe Ruth dies at the age of 53 of a rare case of having a hot dog lodged in the left atrium of his heart. 29 years later to the Day Elvis Presley dies at the age of 42 of an even rarer case of sour cream in the lungs.
August 29 1957
Strom Thurmond ends the longest filibuster in US Senate history after speaking for over 24 hours against a civil rights bill. The bill passed and Strom Thurmond died six years later at the age of 112. Despite his death he continued to serve South Carolina in the senate and held a part time job as the Crypt Keeper for two movies and the length of the HBO television series "Tales From The Crypt". Strom Thurmond is currently dead but he may be back as early as January of 2009 to oppose the election of a Black President of the United States.
August 10, 1977
Postal employee David Berkowitz aka Son of Sam was arrested for shooting a bunch of people because he was told by his neighbors demonically possessed Labrador retriever that some folks needed to to die. The insanity defense is awesome and should be used at all times when people need to die. Just kill them and figure the rest out later.
Movie of Month: Army of Darkness.....You say you wanna kill me... now you wanna kiss me...Blow
You tube: Bubb Rub
Music: The Kinks
Internet Rip off: www.thepowerofcash.com
disclaimer: “If you choose to become an active member of The Overnight Cash System (TOCS), please bear in mind that TOCS is NOT a “Do Nothing” program, a "get rich quick scheme" or any type of investment whatsoever. It is a "gifts based upon advertising & marketing" program. You should therefore have a working/marketing budget available to you, with which to initially start marketing your TOCS website.
There are no guarantees of any kind that you will receive any money – and the success of other TOCS members is no guarantee that you will be successful. Your own personal results may vary, and you could receive more (or less) than the figures specified in the featured TOCS member testimonies within this website. Any hypothetical incoming cash examples within this website are for illustration purposes only, and are not intended to imply or promise any monetary results. Success in any program is a result of consistent effort, time and a variety of other factors.”
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Sometimes History DOES suck…
“the Everett Massacre”
In 1916, Everett, Washington was facing severe economic difficulties. There was ongoing confrontation between business and commercial interests and labor and labor organizers. There had been a number of labor organized rallies and speeches in the street. These were opposed by local law enforcement, which was firmly on the side of business. IWW organizers (labor organizers otherwise known as “Wobblies”) had gone into Everett to support a five-month long strike by shingle workers. Once there, vigilantes organized by business had beaten them up with axe handles and run them out of town. The Seattle IWW decided to go to Everett in numbers to hold a rally to show their support for the striking shingle workers.
As a result, over 200 vigilantes or "citizen deputies", under the ostensible authority of Snohomish County Sheriff McRae, met in order to repel the "anarchists". As their ship drew into the dock, and someone on board threw a line over a bollard, McRae stepped forward and called out "Boys, who's your leader here?" The unarmed IWW men shouted back,
"We are all leaders here!"
McRae drew his pistol, told them he was the sheriff, he was enforcing the law, and they couldn't land here. There was a silence, then a Wobbly came up to the front and yelled out "the hell we can't." Just then a single shot rang out, followed by about ten minutes of intense gunfire. Passengers aboard the vessel rushed to the opposite side of the ship, nearly capsizing. The ship's rail broke as a result and a number of passengers were ejected into the water.
At the end of the mayhem, 2 citizen deputies lay dead. The IWW stated that as many as 12 IWW members were killed. There was a good likelihood that the citizen deputies casualties on the dock were caused not by IWW firing from the steamer, but from vigilante rounds from the cross-fire of bullets. The IWW workers that survived were tracked down and charged with murder….
LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL
In 1916, Everett, Washington was facing severe economic difficulties. There was ongoing confrontation between business and commercial interests and labor and labor organizers. There had been a number of labor organized rallies and speeches in the street. These were opposed by local law enforcement, which was firmly on the side of business. IWW organizers (labor organizers otherwise known as “Wobblies”) had gone into Everett to support a five-month long strike by shingle workers. Once there, vigilantes organized by business had beaten them up with axe handles and run them out of town. The Seattle IWW decided to go to Everett in numbers to hold a rally to show their support for the striking shingle workers.
As a result, over 200 vigilantes or "citizen deputies", under the ostensible authority of Snohomish County Sheriff McRae, met in order to repel the "anarchists". As their ship drew into the dock, and someone on board threw a line over a bollard, McRae stepped forward and called out "Boys, who's your leader here?" The unarmed IWW men shouted back,
"We are all leaders here!"
McRae drew his pistol, told them he was the sheriff, he was enforcing the law, and they couldn't land here. There was a silence, then a Wobbly came up to the front and yelled out "the hell we can't." Just then a single shot rang out, followed by about ten minutes of intense gunfire. Passengers aboard the vessel rushed to the opposite side of the ship, nearly capsizing. The ship's rail broke as a result and a number of passengers were ejected into the water.
At the end of the mayhem, 2 citizen deputies lay dead. The IWW stated that as many as 12 IWW members were killed. There was a good likelihood that the citizen deputies casualties on the dock were caused not by IWW firing from the steamer, but from vigilante rounds from the cross-fire of bullets. The IWW workers that survived were tracked down and charged with murder….
LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL
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